Personal Development

Making Big Decisions Is Terrifying. Here Are Three Ways to Help.

Life is full of choices. Some are small decisions we are not even aware we are making while others feel like they carry the weight of the world. If you are in the process of making one of those big decisions, here are some tips for navigating it from a heart-centered place.

“The big problem in making the hard decisions has much to do with the personal and professional well-being of the person.”

Chuck Martin

Each day, you start your day by deciding to get out of bed. Shortly after, you decided that you want to look fabulous and so, you put on a pretty-looking outfit before sharing it with your friends on Instagram. In the kitchen, while preparing breakfast, you decided to add milk first into the cup before pouring tea into it. Small decisions like these are easy to make and requires little to no time at all.

However, the same cannot be said when it comes to big decisions. Gargantuan decisions are difficult to make, probably because it has life-changing repercussions. Sometimes, we may find ourselves spending a considerable amount of time figuring out whether those big decisions are worth taking. The last thing we want is to make a big decision and regret it two months later because it did not pan out the way we initially hoped. Such a scenario can be avoided if we take appropriate measures to help us make better-informed decisions on significant life changes. Keep reading to discover how you can make sure you are comfortable making the next big decision.

1. Have A List of What You Cherish

Our values, principles and beliefs are shaped by our past experiences and influences in which we immersed ourselves since our early days. In turn, they guide our behaviours, views, and intentions. Most of the time, we make decisions that reflect what we value the most and what we value the least. Nevertheless, things can emerge in between our inner conviction and the values that motivate us to be our best selves.

For instance, you may have accepted a job offer because the employer is willing to spoil you with a huge salary and grant you access to the whole range of employee benefits but later come to realise that you do not take pleasure in the job. Alternatively, you may have elected to take up a position that does not challenge you because you want to remain close with your parents and you are afraid of leaving the city.

“When you know what is important to you, making a decision is quite simple.”

Anthony Robbins

While you may have had your reason then, if your career is not what you expected it would be, this is an excellent opportunity to observe and identify the components of your job that you cherish the most and what you despise the most. Do you seek flexible work arrangements? Do you like to interact with customers? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you want to have autonomy in your role, or do you like being told what to do? Answering such questions provides you with an idea of the kind of job that will most likely allow you to flourish.

This tactic is not just limited to career development. You can take the same approach to address other areas of your life. For example, what do you long for in a relationship? Does waking up at 5:00 AM help you to make more productive use of your day? When you find yourself dissatisfied, this is an excellent starting point.

2. Recognise That Control Is in Your Hands and Use It Frequently

“Life is a matter of choices and every choice you make makes you.”

John C. Maxwell

Our fate in life is not pre-determined. We have the power and the will to control our destiny and change the future, every second of every day. We live in a time and age where there is increasing social pressure to surrender ourselves to other people. One may be wondering, “What does that look like?” Well, here is a perfect example: saying “yes” when what you really mean is “no.” Initially, we would take pleasure in avoiding a conflict between us and the people we dealt with. Eventually, however, when we reveal our true form, we end up assisting no one, and a baseless sense of disappointment follows shortly afterwards.

If you are having difficulties implementing changes in your life, chances are, you do not have the resources to address the hurdles that are inherent in those changes. And you know what? It is okay because everyone goes through it at least once in their lifetime. You can obtain additional resources and tools to make the implementation process more manageable. For example, you can recruit a life coach who can work with you to pinpoint and resolve the problems you are having trouble addressing.

3. Listen to Yourself

The way we feel in any given scenario says a lot. Typically, if we feel that something is missing, it like is. If you feel like something will match you, there is reasonable ground to trust your instinct. Do not ignore it. It pays tremendously to retreat to a quiet environment to listen to ourselves and acknowledge our feelings.

Putting this into practice is difficult, I know that. The world focuses on keeping itself so busy that if we ever fall behind, we lose our sense of belonging and that fear keeps us going without taking a moment to interpret what we are hearing in ourselves. However, I truly believe that if everyone can unlock this life hack, I am sure everyone and the world would be a much happier place.

Final 2¢

It is impossible to identify which decision is right for us. The truth is, there is no right or wrong way to go about making choices for yourself. Hence, the best thing we can do is make the best out of the situation, which involves acknowledging the good and the bad, listening to your gut and seek advice when needed.

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