You do not have to use visible, obvious strategies to self-sabotage your relationship. There are many deceitful and discreet things you and your partner are both guilty of that can cause serious damage to the relationship.
Tiny habits that you are not even aware of can take a toll more than you think. They can slowly turn your relationship with your partner bitter without you even noticing it. In certain ways, habits can hurt you more deeply than mistakes because they are ingrained in your dynamic for some time.
See if any of the six ahead resonates with you and if they do, try to address them as soon as possible if you want to stabilise or strengthen your relationship with your partner.
1. Always Glueing Yourself To The Couch
At the end of the day, many couples arrive at a comfort level that keeps them within the boundaries of their home most of the week. Don’t get me wrong — it is not wrong with choosing to stay in together, provided that it does not entirely eliminate your habitual plans.
Obviously, given the global circumstances surrounding the pandemic, going out for new dating adventures would not always be as often, spontaneous or exciting as they once were. However, it is important that you both remain to have fun and attempt new things as one beyond what’s now become your routine.
2. Neglecting Relationship Milestones
Even if you and your partner are not the gushy types to make a deal about anniversaries, it is still crucial to acknowledge how far you have travelled together.
Acknowledge the small accomplishments, and celebrating them in your own small way is even more meaningful because it is unique to your relationship. These milestones become even more meaningful as time ticks away. Hence, never lose sight of them.
3. Not Speaking Your Mind
Unless your significant other is Charles Xavier, they will never be made aware of how you are feeling or what you are contemplating if you do not inform them. It is not realistic of you to always expect them to sense that there is something amiss either.
What kind of things about your relationship are you ranting to your friends about but keeping secret from your partner? It does not benefit either of you to withhold things, irrespective of how tiny or petty you believe they might be.
4. Getting Lazy About Sex
Things are not as spicy and intimate as they used to be, and that is quite common. However, you can turn things around.
What would not help is allowing yourself to make up excuses like being too exhausted or bogged down with work. Maintaining intimacy is a crucial element of a thriving relationship. Therefore, this is one aspect you certainly do not want to get lethargic about.
Skipping a night of sex is a habit that does not take much to adopt. So, remove it before it becomes the norm.
5. Letting Things Go South
You may believe you are fuelling your relationship by not approaching your partner to discuss specific problems. However, you are mistaken.
You can resolve problems without turning them into a big fuss, and you are only self-sabotaging yourself and worsening the situation by sweeping the issues under the rug.
Even if the result pans out to be precisely why you wanted to avoid bringing them up in the first place, it is still better to address those problems now rather than later or worse, never.
6. Dozing Off On The Couch
This one may seem like a small matter, but it is a subtle yet detrimental habit. It is not an issue when you fall asleep in front of the television once in a blue moon, but when you start to see your couch as your actual bed, you know that is a warning or a sign of a more troubling issue going on in your relationship.
Sleeping together is something that can be easily overlooked, but starting your day next to the person you love is more valuable than you believe. When you sleep separately, even unintentionally, you are physically constructing a gap between yourselves, which can have an impact on your relationship.
Final 2¢: One Last Pearl of Wisdom
It is important to note that in any given relationship, a level of commitment is required from both parties to make it work. If only one party contributes to the survival of the relationship, the relationship will not last long.
Also, communication is important. You and your partner must make it a commitment to be honest and sincere to each other. Got an issue? Sit down and discuss the best ways to go around it — find a middle ground if one of you is not satisfied with the proposed solution.
Finally, if you want to keep your relationship with your partner alive for eternity, treat her/him as your only priority rather than an option.