Confidence Personal Development Personal Growth

Giving Your Past Permission To Destroy Your Future: Here’s How To Stop That Shit

Your past does not define your future. Your future does not have to be a mirror image of your past. We can shape our future but doing so means keeping our venomous past away. The story takes you through four ways to ensure that your future is not ruined by your past.

“People who live in the past generally are afraid to compete in the present. I’ve got my faults, but living in the past is not one of them. There’s no future in it.”

Sparky Anderson

Too often, we go about our lives not recognising that we are repeatedly putting ourselves in the same bullshit that we try so hard to avoid in the first place. It is only when things get dire, do we realise that we have been in a world of pain for so long.

Frequently, because we keep our past unchecked, it indirectly affects how we live in the present. It is about time we rise up, raise our shields and put our past lives in the past before it destroys our future. We still have a long journey ahead of us, and we are given only one chance at dying. Therefore, let’s make good use of this only opportunity.

Here are four ways to stop letting your past ruin your future.

1. Embracing The Value Of Forgiveness

To ensure that you have room for a great future, you must forgive the person who hurt you. It could be forgiving yourself for committing an act of self-sabotage. It could be forgiving your friend who had once made your life miserable by dragging you into doing things that you still hate to this day.  If you struggle to forgive those who had hurt you, you will continue to hold a grudge against them. Keeping a grudge only not only makes you a fool but also prevents you from having an awesome future. To have a loving future, you need to have a loving heart.

2. Release Yourself From The Shackles Of The Past

The only two women I have ever loved in my life left me with a shattered heart. After that, I spent a couple of years keeping my heart immune to every girl I met because I thought it was for my own good. If it felt like things were getting serious, I would question myself and have doubts about whether or not this will actually work.

Then, it hit me like a tonne of bricks – I was single because I chose to be live life by myself. Spending the rest of my life being perpetually single did not sit well with me.

Immediately after freeing myself from the weight of my past relationships, I finally found the means to love someone the same way they do to me. Although there have been hurtful moments, I would rather risk getting hurt than keeping my heart closed for eternity.

3. Have It On Record

Documenting your feelings about certain circumstances on paper or with an audio recorder is one good way to have a clear picture of your thoughts, which then allows you to sense the state of your emotions. I highly recommend that you invest in a diary and take brief moments each day to note down your thoughts. There is something about putting them on paper that can bring you a real sense of calmness and clarity for which you have been longing.

Therefore, if you find yourself on the verge of slipping into the past, try writing down the things you have been wondering about, your feelings and why you are carrying those feelings. Who knows? As you are writing away, you may uncover a revelation that helps prevent your pesky past from creeping in.

4. Free Yourself From The Fears

If there is one big reason I let my past ruin my future, it would be fear. Fear is an intense emotion. No matter how smart or tough you think you are, when the smallest drop of fear sips into your mind, you are likely to derail from the path you should be on.

I was always the person who was very involved in extra-curricular activities. However, at some point, I became nervous about moving on after a series of hiccups. Initially, I thought my hesitance to get back into it was due to laziness. Eventually, I realised I was wrong – my involvement in extra-curricular activities went cold because my confidence took a hit, I was scared to do things I wanted. Time went forward nevertheless, and ultimately, I learned that I will miss out on so many extraordinary moments in life if I keep myself in this bubble of fear forever. Currently, I am mustering all the courage I have to conquer the fears that are trying their hardest to keep me trapped in the past.

Final 2¢: Easier Said Than Done

Sounds easy? Definitely. Practically easy? Probably not. Yet, the best time to make a change in your life is now. Pause for a minute to think about what from your past is keeping you at bay from unlocking your potentially great future and consider ways you can adopt to ensure that your past does not release its venom that could paralyse your drive.

We have way more control over our lives than we recognise. Life is a precious gift, and we should appreciate it by delivering our best to live it authentically.  

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