Who does not love receiving helpful advice that can yield lifelong benefits? Do not get me wrong here; I genuinely love to pick up valuable pieces of advice from time to time. I have written advice on money management, the significance of scheduling your time wisely and even things I have learned from my loved ones. Moreover, there is virtually an infinite number of books written for twentysomethings on how to grow personally and professionally.
However, not all pieces of advice are worth listening to. There is one bit of advice that is riddled with clichés and false guarantees of a brighter tomorrow. This terrible advice is usually passed down by the people we trust, be it our loved ones or closest friends since high school. You have probably heard it before. Whether or not you have taken it into heart, only you have the answer. Nevertheless, what I intend to here is to save you from the pain that these bits of bits of advice can deliver once taken.
It is not uncommon to hear someone suggesting to you not to compromise. You would normally find this in the context of relationships. However, this piece of advice is also evident in the workplace. We are often told that if you are searching for that one partner, have a long list of all of the items they have to offer right off the bat. If it is job searching that you are performing, be sure that the pay aligns with your expectations. No middle ground. I believe that it is good to carry high expectations of ourselves and others. Simultaneously, however, I sincerely think that they have to be grounded by reality and to do that, we should often come to a compromise.
Of course, certain things in life are not worth compromising on, such as your health, safety, or morals. Yet, we all need to be sure that we are all right factoring in human error in every corner of our lives. No one is perfect, and no situation is ideal too. If we expect everyone and the world to be perfect, then we will be in a world of hurt. Hence, rather than compromising, search for a couple of things that align with your set of values and beliefs. Is the company that hired you providing you with a safe and conducive working atmosphere aside from their policy regarding an employee’s right to claim expenses? Do not sweat about it. Do you dislike your friend’s taste in music? Do not make a fuss about it. By compromising here and there on the small things, we can live in a world where the big matters reign supreme.
Occasionally though, we find ourselves unable to come to a middle ground. So, disputes and heated arguments are inevitable. This can occur between any two or more individuals, and it is always nerve-racking. Someone may say to you, “Do not sweat about it, it is now in the past.” However, that phrase is only applicable to specific settings, which means it does not necessarily apply to every imaginable setting. Being mindful of the past is a good habit, especially when interacting with someone with whom you had a tumultuous ride. By focusing on what has unfolded in the past, you can better anticipate what will happen and make plans to steer clear of similar situations in the future. Did you and your best friend get into a heated argument because both of you did not convey your thoughts properly via text messaging? Try calling your best friend up next time to talk about a sensitive subject in a more personal setting.
Also, make sure that you are taking into account someone’s past experiences. While a certain matter may not have meant the world to you, the same cannot be said for someone else. For example, due to historical, personal and cultural reasons, a difference of opinion between you and your colleague at work may not seem like a big deal to you, but your colleague might see it otherwise. That said, you cannot run away from your past entirely because when you are facing a situation that you have never encountered before, your past experiences will serve as a reference. Do not carry any resentments but simultaneously never think that past events do not affect present situations.
Perhaps the most terrible advice known to humanity is “Never change.” The world we live in today is the product of changes that have occurred since the Big Bang. While you may have heard of this advice before (and you will again at some point in the future), it is unfair of you to ask someone to change just to fulfil your needs. What is more, where is the fun in life if we are to be stagnant and set in our own ways?
Whether you like it or not, as human beings, we are conditioned to change. It is what we do best. We are constantly growing and being sculpted by our surroundings. It is worth noting here that I am not suggesting you become fake or inauthentic gradually. What I am asserting here is that every life experience can affect you and unearth a little more about yourself. When there is no change, growth is impossible. The saying that change is a continuous process may be cliché. However, that does not mean it is false. While there is no doubt that you will change, you should also expect others to change on their own terms and pace. Therefore, do not resist the inevitable. Recognise and appreciate it.