Love and Relationships

What To Do When Your Partner Does Not Know How To Communicate

Whether you are just starting out as a couple or have been together for years, these strategies can help you both improve your communication skills.

“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it… it dies.”

Tony Gaskins

We all long for a perfect partner, the perfect relationship, the perfect family, and the perfect life. However, that is just wishful thinking–the truth is: nothing is perfect, and that includes your relationships, including with your partner. You have your shortcomings, and your partner has theirs. We all know how important honest and open communication is in a relationship. However, what if one of you do not learn or know how to communicate?

Good communication in a relationship is only possible when partners have a mutual understanding that it is one of the fundamental ingredients of keeping the relationship going. Continue reading to uncover several tips to improve your communication skills between you and your significant other.

1. Timing is crucial.

You would not want to bring up a serious matter when your partner is in the middle of a workout session. I am sure your partner would not want to interrupt you when you are exercising too. If there is an issue that has been bugging you for a while, set a time when you are both ready to talk things out without throwing a fit of anger at each other. It is essential to have the conversation when both of you are calm. Attempting to have a discussion of this nature when your emotions are running high will just make the issue worse. Keep it real; when was the last time you kept quiet and let someone express their dissatisfaction about you and took in everything they were conveying. It is usual for people to disconnect themselves from reality in such instances.

Remember, communication is a two-way street. Both parties want to be express their voice and to be heard. Make sure you have the conversation at the right time and place. That said…

2. Bring it up to them in person.

Getting our message across over large bodies of water and land has never been easier, thanks to the technological breakthroughs humanity has uncovered over the past decades. However, when you need to have a serious discussion with your significant other, technology is not the way to go. In-person communication offers many elements that are lacking when you are attempting to inform your significant other that the relationship is going nowhere. Chances are, you do not want to learn that your girlfriend checks on your WhatsApp conversations because she feared that you are having an affair with another woman. Having a face-to-face conversation allows you to read a person’s body language and keep your ears peeled for the intonation in their voice. Communication is not just a two-way channel; it also involves verbal and non-verbal aspects. With that in mind…

3. Keep your facial expression and your body language under control.

You may be keeping your ears peeled, but you might also be rude to your significant other by playing with your phone. Exhibiting a lack of control over your body language sends a signal to your partner that you are no interested in what the speaker has to say.

Do not forget: relationship is not just built on good communication; it is built on trust too. So prove to your partner that you are paying attention to what they have to convey. Once you nailed this part…

4. Be open and do not keep secrets from each other.

Even if the truth hurts or the secret is shameful, do it. Honesty in a relationship is not just a sign of strength; it signifies that you respect and trust your significant other. Do be wary of how you are going to deliver your message to your significant other. If you have got something emotionally painful to convey, try to send the point across that is direct without hitting your partner with word daggers. Being a jerk and being direct about what you have to say are two very different terms. Do not play the victim card and focus on a more open-minded perspective. Express how you feel with using “I” or “we” statements. Consider the relationship as a single unit. If you feel that something is not going right in the relationship, your partner will most likely feel the same way.

5. Patience is a virtue.

No one conveys precisely what they mean precisely the way they mean to say it every time. So, you have to allocate some time for your significant other. Provide them with the chance to untangle their jumbled thoughts to make more sense of what they actually want to say.


Final 2¢: If you do not practice, you do not deserve your partner.

Trust, honesty, respect, and good communication; all take time and commitment. You will need to be honest with yourself. You will need to think long and hard about what you are doing. Before you actually have that serious conversation with your partner, play that conversation back to yourself in your head and consider the steps you can take to sharpen your communication skills and convey it without letting emotions get the best of you and your partner. Once you have nailed this skill set, forward it to your significant other. Hopefully, they will pay attention to it and put it to practice in real life as well.

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