Being a twenty-something means you have responsibilities to fulfil. So much so that it can feel like you are being stretched in multiple directions.
There are so many options presented to you:
- You can either continue with your education or drop out to start a business;
- You can remain in your current job or take the bold decision to move towards your dream job;
- You can get married as soon as you are ready or hold out for a while longer to determine whether you really want to spend the rest of your life with your partner; or
- You can choose to live with your parents or move out as soon as you desire a place of your own.
The answers to the points above hang entirely on the nature of your motivations. Specifically, whether you want to live with your parents or otherwise depends on how motivated you are to save money versus how motivated you are to find your own place.
At times, motivations are powered by external forces. For instance, society says that you must receive a good quality education to earn a job that pays you well upon graduation and expects you to get married before thirty. However, there are times when your motivations originate from within: you are chasing after your dreams and holding out the decision to apply for a job.
In most cases, self-propelled motivations yield more satisfaction than those driven by outside influences.
“I can be selfish, and I am allowed to put myself first.”
I have said it before, and I will say it again: the most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself. Only you can figure out what you want, and once you know, no one can steal it away from you. It is unrealistic to experience the true beauty of love until you understand and develop a loving relationship with yourself.
“This is my life, and I will shape it the way I want to.”
If you cannot find happiness in whatever you are doing, hit the brakes. If you do not feel comfortable, halt. If you do not want to do something that makes you feel uneasy, then do not do it. Unquestionably, there will be consequences for remaining stagnant. However, you should not be pressured to do something that misaligns with your values or violates your boundaries.
You are not being inconsiderate for tossing away a toxic relationship with an obnoxious friend. You have every right to escape from jobs that do not value your contributions. If you are a student, you have every right to switch to a major that better matches your interests. It is your life. No one can and will write it for you. Live it your way as you please.
“I am the master of my own life and the paths I choose to take.”
It is not hard to follow along with someone else’s decision even though it disappoints you. In societies where collectivism reigns over individualism, people would go along with the flow and sacrifice their personal feelings for the sake of preserving the collective harmony.
When you are the master of your own life and begin to say no to people and things you do not have faith in, it does not take much and long to feel guilty. Over time, it evolves to remorse, triggers anxiety, and can motivate you to withdraw your decision for the sake of preserving the status quo and keeping your place in society. It is difficult to put those feelings aside until you learn to capitalise on the perks of living for yourself.
Final 2¢: You forge your own destiny.
It is imperative to remain happy all the time and toss away your anger. Each of the moments that once passed by will never come back. Why work every hour on someone else’s dream when you can use that time to work on yours? The moment you take control of your life, begin to live life for yourself and do things that satisfy your life purpose, you will be in a much happier place, and when it is time for you to leave Earth, you will not regret living life on your own terms.