While the process of identifying an untrustworthy person may not be as easy as spelling out all twenty-six letters of the modern English alphabet, their body language, words, and physical actions can give you plenty of information about them. Whether it is someone you are seeing, a freaky colleague, or even someone you have never met before, it is worth noting the warning signs that may indicate to you that they should be approached with caution.
Obviously, not everyone who emits a “weird” aura is toxic to be around. However, if you notice even one of the signs of an untrustworthy person, you should take a moment to assess who this person is and determine whether they have your best interests at heart.
1. Error 404: Integrity Not Found.
An untrustworthy person is someone who sees the term “integrity” as non-existent. They will all kinds of stuff, but they will never walk the talk. They may appear apologetic and promise you that they will never engage in hurtful behaviours, but because they have little to no integrity, their words will only last until they think you will give them another free pass.
Someone who believes in integrity will make sure their words and actions are aligned with each other. Trustworthy people do not take part in toxic habits such as backstabbing or taking advantage of another person’s weaknesses because those actions would make them uncomfortable.
2. They Have A Bad History.
People who are untrustworthy may have a history of being someone who is not dependable. Think of them as slot machines; they will gobble up everything you worked for as much as they can, and when you are about to call it quits, they will spring a wonderful surprise for you to remain where you are.
Untrustworthy people tend to make insincere confessions (e.g., when you apologise to your friend for coming to lunch late by an hour) and emotionally abuse you (e.g., you convince your friend that you did not specify a time in the first place). The goal of an untrustworthy person is to have you trust them willingly even though you are aware of their reputation for being undependable.
3. They Do Not Abide By The Rules And Likes To Cross The Line.
Recognise the general impression an untrustworthy person presents to the globe and observe how they behave when they are in the presence of their loved ones and friends. Although they may look like civilised human beings who have earned their place on this planet, that is just them showing their external faces. They will only showcase their true faces when their loved ones and long-time friends are around or when they know they are surrounded by individuals who wield less power than them.
Untrustworthy people are like to manipulate people, tend to have a high ego and have a loose grip on the idea of self. Therefore, it is not uncommon to see them violate others’ boundaries. One of the most significant issues that people must deal with regarding boundaries is determining how to respond appropriately when someone breaches them repeatedly. Untrustworthy people seem to have that intuitive knowledge and take advantage of it until they know their victims are no longer easy targets to prey on.
4. They Are Emotionless
Think of them as Vulcans; Vulcans are logical beings who have eliminated emotions from their daily lives.
I am sure there were times when you attempted to share something distressing with someone, but he/she was not keeping her ears peeled. Untrustworthy people continue with their lives without thinking about the feeling of others. It is almost impossible to convince them to stop participating in activities that make you angry or disappointed. These are friends not worth having in your life.
5. What is empathy to them?
Nothing. Nada. Zilch. They do not have the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. What they do know is that they thrive in the discomfort of others.
Empathy is a crucial component of active listening and obtaining a clear understanding of the story conveyed by the person speaking to you. Therefore, when empathy is nowhere to be found or impossible to find, treat that as a warning sign.
6. They Want To Take Control Of The Conversation.
In one of the points mentioned earlier, untrustworthy people are manipulators. They poke at your weaknesses and make you feel insecure. They usually do that by talking excessively to blur the validity of your arguments or change the details of your story.
When you notice that pieces of information are not where they should be or go against common sense, you are most likely dealing with an untrustworthy person, and you should tread cautiously.
My Advice? Listen To Your Intuitions
Someone once advised me not to trust someone when he or she says, “you can be sure your trust is in good hands.” The reason being they are not honest with you by hiding an intention from you. Sometimes, when my gut tells me something is off about this person, it is usually right most of the time. Hence, when it tells you to take someone’s words with a pinch of salt, you should take that statement seriously.
Untrustworthy individuals spend more time depending on other people’s listening skills than on their own behavioural cues. The truth is, our brains are more intelligent than we believe. So, when people are dishonest with you, note the changes in their tone of voice and body language. One pro tip: liars usually share a story from a third-party perspective (e.g., “we”, “they”, “he”, or “she”) instead of their personal experiences.
It is not easy to call someone out for being untrustworthy, especially when they know the ways and tricks to draw you in further. However, if you are in a set of circumstances that makes you feel insecure, have faith in your gut and do not be afraid to call for help and try to break free from their grips as quickly as you can.