Love and Relationships

How To Keep The Spark Alive In A Long-Term Relationship

It takes more than just scheduling a date or two to make real, lasting change in a relationship.

“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.”

Doménico Cieri Estrada

When you and your partner have been together for years, the anxious feelings you had on your first date will be forgotten. It is easy to forget the adrenaline rush you felt when both of you kiss intimately for the first time. The stance on public display of affection becomes softer, and soon, you will want the world to know how proud you are for having a fantastic partner. However, from my perspective, these experiences are not one-timers; you do not have to forget about them as your relationship with your partner grows over time.

Both of you can reignite the same energy, ambience, and emotions from your first date by discovering new things for the first time. Whether both of you are going for a baking class together or cliff jumping into the ocean for the first time, such experiences, when borne together as one, will spice things up in your relationship and keep it interesting.

Given that we are still not out of the woods yet, as air travel remains unsafe due to the ever-evolving nature of the Covid-19 pandemic, it serves as an incentive to spend some quality time together by having a staycation. Take a four-day weekend to explore a city both of you have never visited. If you both do not wish to leave the hotel room, go ahead, and cuddle each other on the bed.

The other option would be to organise a trip for the two of you. The planning phase can be as exciting as the trip itself. Select a destination, establish how much both of you are willing to spend and head over onto the travel site to make reservations.

It is also a good idea to outline when both of you cannot toy around with your smartphones. At work, we stare at our laptops and desktops. At home, our eyes are glued to our phones as we check on the latest developments on Instagram or Twitter. So, by setting a digital curfew, we can spend more time together and exchanging our undivided attention. Whether it is playing with your rabbits together, cleaning the garage or fixing a faulty air conditioner in one of the bedrooms, time spent with each other is better than with characters in the virtual world.

However, both of you cannot be spending time together all the time. Maintaining a healthy relationship means respecting each other’s personal space. Specifically, it is about acknowledging that spending time being apart from each other is just as important as being together. Being excessively clingy all the time is not a healthy way to live your life. Spare your Sunday morning for a solo jog around the neighbourhood, but do not forget about the dinner date both of you have planned for. When the act of asking your partner out for a date becomes a thing of the past, it is not hard to forget about going on actual dates. Therefore, make plans with each other and be excited when the time has come to implement them.

If you two are fitness junkies, make health and fitness part of your joint adventure. Adopt the practice of walking dinner off together around the neighbourhood or going to the gym together in the morning. Plus, research has shown that working out leads to increased production of testosterone, which can increase your ability to have satisfying sex (men, take note). Moreover, exercising with your significant other offers a window of opportunity to hold each other accountable, challenge each other to achieve bigger and bolder goals, and support each other while creating a stronger bond.

While hitting the gym regularly gives you security in the form of order in life, a pinch of spontaneity (or chaos) can make your partner’s day. You do not need to make it big; a gesture as small as sending a container of home-cooked food to your partner at work is enough. It is always pleasant to be treated as someone special and even more pleasant to know that your wellbeing is someone’s top priority.

Keeping the relationship fresh and interesting constantly requires time and commitment from both parties. Ultimately, staying in a relationship involves figuring out what works for both of you.

How do you keep your long-term relationship alive? What do you and your partner do to keep the relationship interesting?  

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