Your twenties are going to be perhaps the busiest decade of your life. At least, that is what society wants you to think. For many of us, it includes earning a degree from a prestigious university, securing jobs that will lead you to your career vision, owning your first property, getting married and starting a family. Basically, you have a lot of growing up to do when you are in your twenties. A few of my college buddies got married or engaged soon after stepping foot into the corporate world. Was I surprised? Not a bit because I was too busy focusing on making my life meaningful by figuring out my life’s purpose, let alone on the idea of seeing someone.
For those of us who have yet to meet our forever person, that is all right. However, being a loner in your twenties can be difficult–we are social animals, and thus, we typically crave companionship. It can sometimes be tempting to follow the crowd when you find out you are the only one who is not in a relationship. Watching people putting a public display of affection can make you feel either like an audience or nauseous.
Do not fall for it. You do not necessarily need to have someone to make your life worthwhile. Focus on living your life first until you are ready to get your hands dirty. Do not expect your forever person to drop from the sky at your command. The decade of your twenties is meant for you to learn more about yourself and your desired life goals and meet people and observe how they can contribute value to your life. If you are looking for someone to spend your time with, be part of a running club, join a group fitness class or work on your hobby. Chances are, you will encounter individuals whose set of interests is similar, if not identical to yours. From there, you will form a friendship that could potentially evolve into a relationship given enough time. Simultaneously, while you learn something new through this connection, you also learn something insightful about yourself.
If seeing someone is the last item on your to-do list right now, so be it. No one should pressure you to make it a top priority. Take your sweet time exploring the world, making partnerships at work, and piecing together the life you envisioned. That is the key to personal growth–to go after things you are passionate about for the sake of your own wellbeing.
Do not get me wrong; I long for the day when one of my friends invites me over to their wedding reception, and I wish nothing but the best for them in their forever-loving relationship. However, in the meantime, I enjoy putting myself in a state of being unmarried or not involved in a long-term relationship, even though the feeling of loneliness grips me sometimes.
Here are several reasons why there is nothing wrong with being single in your twenties:
- For the majority of us, we are still finding our bearings in this stage of life, and the process could take a while.
- It is imperative to spend time without anyone else present and work on bringing your interests to the next level as part of your personal growth. An essential part of a healthy relationship is mastering yourself. Once you got that covered, you will undoubtedly make the relationship easier when it comes.
- You can roam around in the job market freely and capitalise on opportunities that can materialise your career aspirations.
- You do not owe anyone anything, and that being said, you are free to do more and take bold risks, such as switching to another career or moving to another country.
It is worth emphasising that you do not need to race against other people to see who gets married first. What is suitable for you may not be suitable for another individual. The successes achieved by your friends do not mean you are a slowpoke. It just means that your priorities in life are significantly different from theirs.
You are given a decade to determine where you want your “adulthood” adventure to end. You are given a decade to do things that once held you back. You are given a decade to develop your hobbies or interests. You are given a decade to strengthen your relationship with your loved ones, your friends and, more importantly, yourself.
You will eventually learn when the right time is to date and be in a relationship. On the one hand, there is a group of people who wish to be in a relationship as soon as possible. On the other hand, there are others who believe that being in a relationship should be the last thing on their wish list.
There is nothing shameful about being single. On the contrary, being single can be exciting. Being single can be expansive and joyful.