Love and Relationships

Sorry, She Is Taken

When you love someone who is not available.

“True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.”

Michael Bassey Johnson

From the start, it was never going to work. Regardless of how the relationship began, it was only a matter of time before it exploded. I understand, the heart wants to have what it wants desperately. Unfortunately, we do not have complete control over whom we are attracted to or in love with. While you, of all people, know better than to have a crush on someone who is already in a romantic relationship with another person, our emotions can at times ruin us. 

Before you dive into that myriad of emotions, there are several points you have to consider before all hell breaks loose.

Face the situation realistically. Ask yourself: “Do I really love this person, or is this another case of my physical desire to keep this person in my life?” In this era, it is common for people to be attracted to others whether or not they are in a relationship. 

Eventually, you will learn that if she was indeed in love with you, she would have already said goodbye to her current partner. If she makes excuses about why she cannot do it now, chances are, she will never do it. From there, you can conclude that she is not for you, and she is certainly someone you do not want as a life partner. 

All women and men are created equal. Just like men, women can cheat for numerous reasons, primarily because, from my perspective, they long for variety. Please do not fool yourself into believing that she will leave her boyfriend for you. Again, if she is not going to do it now, she probably never will. 

There is no need to be ashamed or agitated because these things do occur. The best thing you can do is get back on your feet and continue with your life uninterrupted. Go out with your friends, whether it is a hike or a casual dinner. I would not stand here and say to you that there are a million fish in the sea. Why? Because that is nonsense. There are a million fish, but not all of them will appeal to you. Therefore, have a good time and find someone who wants no one else but you alone. 

It is not dazzling. Being the other guy is not a simple task, nor is it something worth bragging about. Look back at the early stages of any previous relationship and recall how exciting it was to introduce your new life partner to all your friends. When you are involved with a woman who is in a relationship with another man, conversation among friends does not run so smoothly without some “Oh, no, he did not” facial expressions heading your way. Regardless of how close you believe you are with your friends, there will always be that one friend who will judge you and when that happens, do not expect it to be pretty. 

It will tear you and everyone else to bits. Consider all the pain you are inflicting on yourself and the other man, even to the woman who is the source of the problem. Getting involved in an affair is an ugly situation you do not want to mess with. Therefore, such a scenario should not be taken lightly. Otherwise, your well-being and self-worth will be the victims. 

Ask yourself: is an affair truly worth the nights spent shedding tears over a woman who is not truly yours?

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